Dreams change

i think dreams change. Sure the main concept of our dreams stay the same but i think the small details start to differ as we grow older. Our morals and values start to change so naturally, the details start to adjust.

I can’t even remember the first dream I had when I was little to be honest. I just remember it constantly changing. Maybe my first dream was to be a teacher. I used to always make my little sister be the student while i taught her math on the overhead (yes, i got an overhead for christmas one year.. parents rule) But then, when I got to middle school that changed. I was in theatre and wanted to be an actress. And then I got to seventh grade and got into this really weird phase where I loved to do school work and be organzied (lol) and my dream then was to go to Harvard. And somewhere in all that I wanted to be a lawyer for a bit. But then again, that dream changed when I got to high school. In high school, i decided i wanted to pursue dance again. And I did, I got back into studio lessons and started dancing on the Kempner High School Brigade dance team. I stuck with this dream for most of high school while flirting with the idea of other dreams in between the four years at KHS. I became lieutenant of the dance team and thought for sure dance was what I was going to do with the rest of my life. But then.. life happened, as it always does, and changed things up. When I went to Houston Community College, I decided I wanted to further pursue my studies in psychology (I had taken one class in high school and really enjoyed it so i thought why not) I also took quite a bit of dance classes while I was there, and a writing course that I loved. I really enjoyed Downtown HCC and that time in my life. I was in a different place. On the border of adolescence and adulthood. I just remember that time being sunshine and warmth streaming down my veins and life was still innocent. But then I realized I didn’t want to do psychology because I didn’t agree with everything I was learning so i thought the hell with it…Then I met Hayden. When I met him in the summer, he was on break from school. Soon I realized he went to school in Boston. Although I wasn’t too scared I just remember thinking, hey i really like this kid… but he goes back to boston in a week. What are we going to do .  After 6 months of long distance, he asked me to move to Boston with him. And so I did. This was the point in my life, I remember, where I sort of just let go and had no sort of ‘dream’ so to speak. My dream at that point was to just live, and see where life would take me. And so it took me here. After being in Boston for 3 years now, I can absolutely say that my dreams have changed. But why does that have to be taken with a negative connitation? I have been doing photography seriously for about 2 years now and that is a huge dream of mine. I have been (sort of) writing more publicly, which is also a dream of mine.. but now I also have a new dream. I have a dream to get a home with Hayden and our bby pup Gordy so he has a background to play around in. I have a dream of having a kitchen big enough to make all the gluten free goodies Haydens ever dreamed of. I have a dream to live a positive, God filled, as stress free as possible life. I have a dream to start a family with Hayden. I have a dream to be a mother some day. I have a dream to have my photography and writings recognized by people. Enough where it can help support my family. I have a dream to travel, and experience all that my heart will take. I have a dream to road trip across the country. I have a dream to help my family. I have a dream to comfort and be there for people who don’t always have someone. I have a dream to help and inspire others.

Morals and values change as we grow older and experience different things. Mine did. When I was 14 nothing that has happened to me was in my plans. Being where I am now was never in my plans.. but I wouldn’t change it for the world. A couple of years ago, I started to actively pursue God (although i really have got to get back to reading the word) But that small detail changed a huge part of my life. Changing my values from partying to wanting to work and maintain a healthy relationship has changed my dreams. Growing has helped my dreams. And its not something like that is on a time frame, it happens to everyone at different times, and its all a learning curve.

Throughout all of my dreams though, I have had some constants that have always remained. I have always loved art, photography and writing. I have always wanted to write a book (or 2) and I have always wanted to live in New York City. I have always had a passion for love and peoples hearts, I guess at the time I didn’t realize i loved these things. 

In the end though, I think to be absolutely set on a very detailed dream is silly.. because, well,  we never know what God will bring us, will we?

 

“I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it” – Audrey Hepburn